Supermarket Zombies
My '
error of judgement' of the week, was trying to purchase a few, basic necessities - for the approaching weekend ahead – with the
expectations that this could be performed with a degree of
expediency, on a Friday afternoon. I entered the nearest supermarket,
with a plan that was to be simple in it's execution: a small –
slightly cracked - one man unit, a quick hit and run assault,
objective: one semi-loaded basket of assorted toiletries, and then...
freedom, as I made my escape via the self-service checkout – time
allowed for operation: 15 minutes max.
I soon
came to realise that I had failed to allow for the fact, that
although the store may have had a 'super' category, it's customers –
sadly - failed to live up to their side of the bargain. I was
hopelessly outnumbered – and out maneuvered - by a caravan of slow
moving trolleys, and clueless souls, wandering aimlessly around the
aisles. Perhaps, I could understand if they were looking at the
choice cuts of the day, or weighing up their minds over some
particular ' saving of the week ,' but the products that seemed to be
causing them the most distress, was in the household cleaning range,
of all things.
Here
in these corridors of sale, people were found wanting, and those that
weren't wanting, were waiting... waiting for the wanting ones, to
damn well move out of their way. Certain consumers, were overwhelmed
with the choices laid out before them - or just slightly out of
reach, on the top shelf – they were transfixed with which option,
or formation, would be their best course of purchase. Should they go for a
4-3-3 line-up, the 3-4-2 offer or even a 3-4-ALL... PILE-UP ! People were staring at the
shelves, rows and rows of washing detergents and assorted cleaning
solutions, their days must be one heady round of anti-bacterial
highs. It looked more like a case of ' the dis-affected' rather than
disinfectants. Their choices kill 99% of household decisions – DEAD
! The, cognitive condition didn't just contain itself to this
particular line of consumerism, oh no, it also bled over into
the...towering wall of paper towels – a white wash of wipe-able cloths. Will one ROLL really be PLENTY ? Or could there be an
industrial leakage or a series of child based, spillage incidents –
over the coming weekend - that may require a multi-purchase of economy size towels, sufficient enough to absorb the local reservoir
!
Having
a shopping-list is no protection against the inability to form any
free-thinking, purchase opinion, either. Possessors of such written demands, were swerving all over the place - like a frenzied zombie, moving without cause or effect - as they stared down at a piece of crumpled paper, as if it contained a secret ingredient for
shopping, the possible meaning of materialism itself, the Rosetta
Stone of consumerism. Or, perhaps, they just couldn't decipher their
partners handwriting, was it 2lbs of spuds or a facial scrub, that they had scrawled below, in their literary attempt ?
These shoppers, are almost worst than the docile ones, for they would either stop dead in their tracks - for no discernible reason - or suddenly perform a complete 180, right in front of me, and almost cause a mid-aisle collision, as they came and went, at the same time.
It
struck me, how superior the ant life, is to ours. Their's is an
existence of harmony, of structure, of organisation. I mean, you'd
never expect to see them wandering around, holding little scraps of
paper, mumbling to themselves,
“ Now,
was I supposed to bring back the crumbs or the sugar cubes ?”
Oh,
well, at least it's just once a week....right ?
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