A Tribute to Brian Clemens
Brian
Clemens OBE
(30 July 1931 – 10 January 2015)
The
scriptwriter and producer Brian Clemens, responsible for TV hits such
as The Avengers, New Avengers and The Professionals
Steed: “A
glorious day for a drive in the country, don't you think, Mrs Peel ?
”
Emma: “ It would
be, if this was just a casual jaunt for pleasure, Steed. But, since
you have shanghaied me - no doubt, for some nefarious purpose or
other - I find this more a pleasant diversion than an idyllic escape.
Steed: “ Ahh !
Mrs Peel how can one be so skeptical ? ”
Emma: “ Mmm ! A lot of practice ? “
Steed: “ Well,
just for that I might not introduce you to Sir Digby
Hampton-Smallpiece,”
Emma: “And what
exactly is a Hampton-Smallpiece, when it's at home ? “
Steed: “ You'll
find it under just about everyone of note, in the latest book of
Who's Who. A very respected old family, an emerging force in the
political world, a man of high moral regard for his charitable ways
and apparently, something quite big in the city “
Emma: “ How
often a girl has heard that claim ! Wait a moment, something seems to
be coming to mind. Isn't that the fellow who was reported to have two
young ladies...”
Steed: “ ...Ahem
! nothing was ever proven, and the evidence presented, didn't stand
up in court”
Emma: “ Ohh !
That ones too easy “
Steed: “ The
legal system and his peers have accepted his explanation of –
admittedly – the somewhat bizarre set of circumstances leading to
his unwanton social exposure. Anyway, he's put all that behind him,
now, and he has thrown himself, whole heartedly, into his charity
work and Benefit Balls. It's unfortunate but sometimes, Mrs Peel, it
just so happens that a man in his position attracts a certain amount
of notoriety ..”
Emma: “ Remind
me, Steed ! Just what , was that position he was caught in, actually
called, again ? “
Steed: “ I'd
prefer to tell you about his Benefit Balls, and our suspicion that
“Top Hush-Hush, Don't Repeat This to Anyone” information is being
passed over to enemies of the state, under the pre-text of these
high-society, social advancement, tax-deductible shindigs.”
Emma: “ So,
where do I come into this little scheme of yours ? “
Steed: “ You,
Mrs Peel ! Why you're a natural social butterfly, you can dance your
way around the floor, you can weave your magic of beauty & charm
with the deadliest of fandagos', whilst eliciting the kind of information that
most seasoned agents would die for ! “
Emma: “ The last
time you took me dancing, I ended up with that drunken, clumsy,
over-weight,over-friendly, Russian operative, that you were
investigating “
Steed: “ Oh yes
! But you have to admit that he was very quick in the quick step, he
seemed quite foxy in the fox step and – at times - surprisingly
light on his feet ! “
Emma: “ He may have been light on HIS feet....but certainly NOT MINE ! “
Steed: “ Well, anyway, he
spoke very highly of you, quite flattering infact “
Emma: “ Hmmm !
You accused him of being OVERLY friendly – if I remember correctly – what
was it that you called him ?
Wasn't it the “ Syncopated Sycophant “
Steed – gentle
laughs - “ Really ? I was on good form that day, wasn't I ?”
Emma: “ Well, if
I'm to give you the benefit of my feet, then
at least I get to call this case
– and I name this file..” the philandering philanthropist “
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